My soul has no gender

My body has a gender. My brain has a gender. Gender is not a social construct. There is no science to back that. Physical gender is plain to see, and obvious to anyone that has observed nature and animals clearly defined physical genders that have evolved over millions of years to ensure natural selection continues. And by looking at connectome maps, we can clearly see the difference between male and female brains.

This whole discussion actually seems sexist. To suggest that they are or aren’t different suggests that the presentation of either gender is somehow wrong. It’s not wrong to present and behave as a male or a female, or any variation in between.

There is of course the discussion around toxic masculinity and toxic femininity. But that shouldn’t be about gender. We should simply strive to phase out toxic HUMAN behaviour, and focus on being better, regardless of our sex or how we present or don’t present.

Many trans men and women go out of their way to be as feminine or masculine as possible. This seems a bit like over compensation. If we consider gender non existent, why not make life easier and wear unisex clothing and a unisex hair cut? Why accentuate a curvy female form with wide child bearing hips if the possibility of bearing a child is off the table? Because doing so, is essentially tricking a cis male’s brain into believing you can do so. Sure, consciously they know you can’t, but their lizard brain is being fooled.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for this. My point is more that it’s just a bit of playful theatre and need not be taken seriously. We can play out these gender roles without vilifying them and always knowing that ultimately it’s all a biological function that manifests as a visual ecosystem that facilitates the perpetuation of the human race. Presenting as female isn’t about looking super “fire” on the dance floor. It’s so penises end up in vaginas and healthy babies are born with the greatest chance of survival.

Now that we’ve got the superficial aspects of gender out of the way, let’s talk about what lies beneath it.

The human body, and even our brain – including our “minds” – are an outer scaffolding. Underneath all that, is a consciousness. A tiny spark of self awareness that’s perceiving their reality, and hearing their own thoughts.

Consciousness is less understood, so I’ll have to switch to personal experience here:

Biologically, I’m a male. I present as male and about 65% of my behaviours are typical of a male (I’m an artist and musician, so I’m less binary than average). But in my soul, that is, when I close my eyes and just sit with myself, I know my thoughts are being filtered through a male brain, but the entity behind those thoughts, the source, has no gender. It’s barely even human.

A number of years ago I did Salvia, a legal substance you can buy at a head shop. I thought that because you could buy it legally. it would be very weak, or it wouldn’t work at all. Boy was I wrong.

One minute I was there, the next I was gone. I took one giant puff and my ego was obliterated. I was no longer anything. I couldn’t see my physical surroundings, or talk, or think. I didn’t know my own name. I don’t know what planet I was on. I simply existed as a bodyless entity in a tunnel of brilliant neon light made of geometric shapes.

That was my true self. That was the driver of my consciousness, and everything else is scaffolding built on top of that. It had no gender or identity of any kind.

I think it’s ok to accept that we have two genders and we’re each playing a role.

Some people are just over acting. If you’re a man, you need not go out and buy a Harley Davidson and crush beer cans on your head. But it’s still useful to be strong. To be the rock in your family. To be reliable and be a pillar. But you can also be silly and feminine and be vulnerable.

If you’re a woman, you can be delicate and nurturing. But also strong and stoic at times, and also a pillar in your family, but perhaps a pillar of nurturing. Both roles are useful in a family, and in society. Likewise, you also need not wear pink head to toe. If you do, that’s fine. If you don’t, that’s also fine. Variety is the spice of life. Be whatever version of male or female you like. Or neither.

Just keep in mind you were born into either a male or female body and a male or female brain but that doesn’t make you who you are. Inside of that fleshy casing, which surrounds your mental scaffolding, is a glowing orb of genderless consciousness. A genderless soul.

Remember souls? We don’t talk about those much anymore. We’re all so wrapped up in the external casing. In Identity politics.

In our quest for equality we’ve become more shallow than ever. Your physical appearance, while symbolic, is the least important thing about you.

I often observe my cats. They clearly have male and female behaviours that differ. But they’re not aware of them. They are pure, of the moment, focused action. When there is a bird at the window, that bird is the only thing that exists. When they’re getting a belly rub they are in pure unselfconscious bliss. They don’t even recognize their own reflection. Their physical identity doesn’t matter. I envy that. They are Zen masters and we should take cues from them. Is it not better to be unselfconscious love? To be unselfconscious action?

If you have any doubts about your genderless soul, put on some music and close your eyes. And while men’s and women’s taste in music can vary somewhat (though often not at all), underneath that male and female brain is this orb of genderless energy that’s resonating with the vibration of the sound waves you’re hearing.